How To Quit Your Terrible Job

We’ve all thought about it — smashing the company computer on the floor and storming out in a glorious fit of rage. Perhaps your boss runs out, desperate to retain your invaluable services, and you tell him exactly why he’s a piece of shit. Perhaps you add one last quip, cleverly equating the whole company to colonial slavers. Or maybe Nazis.

This is a fun fantasy to engage with, but reality rarely blesses us with such poetically complete moments. Rage quitting a job can have serious repercussions, and certain industries may try to blacklist you or mar your personal record for doing so. In any case, the chances of you truly getting the last word are slim.

So how should you quit a job in a terrible, toxic environment? How can you truly stick it to those who made your life miserable for months or years?

Step 1: Assess, Don’t React

There’s a reason many of the best martial artists (see Conor McGregor) try to anger their opponents before a fight: anger makes you stupid—stupid enough to lose your severance package days before benefits set in, or stupid enough to forget about all the sick days you had saved up.

Evolutionarily speaking, anger is purely designed to get you out of dangerous or socially unjust situations. Your heart races, your body tenses for physical combat, and you lose the ability to articulate yourself clearly. Your judgment goes out the window. Amid the throes of such a paroxysm, do not make a life-changing decision. Set decision-making aside, and focus on the emotion.

Try to observe your thoughts and feelings. What are you thinking? What does it feel like in your body? Is the slight you are perceiving overt or hidden? Are all of the facts of the situation available to you? Most people calm down after assessing their emotional state.

You may be surprised at how difficult it is to remain physically furious once you’ve identified your anger. But this doesn't mean that your anger wasn’t valid. If you still feel wronged after introspection, meditation, and a good night’s sleep, it’s time to act. Maybe this involves quitting, or maybe it involves a sit-down with your bosses or coworkers.

Step 2: Express Yourself

Whether your boss just stripped your vacation or spontaneously changed your schedule to overnight only, expressing your boundaries at work is almost always better than doing nothing. Before you consider quitting, make sure you’ve done your due diligence.

Sadly, this is sometimes easier said than done. Bosses can be intimidating, and toxic workplace cultures in the U.S. and elsewhere would have you believe that 60+ hour weeks are for cool, tough people, and work-life (health) balance is for whiny wimps.

As ridiculous as it may sound, simply ignore others' judgments. Your boundary is your boundary, and no job should make you unhealthy or miserable. Set up an appointment and make your demands known. Try to be as personal as possible. In other words, go for face-to-face if you can. If this doesn't work, talk on the phone. If this doesn’t work, try email, then text messages.

Studies show that it’s much harder to turn someone down when you’re looking them in the eye. With each increase in distance, it gets a little easier. Plus, bosses respect workers who express their needs directly, even if they don’t like it.

Step 3: Consider the Consequences

If you have a spouse, an ill family member, or children, quitting isn’t just about you. Before you choose to peace out on your 9-5, make sure nobody who depends on you is going to go hungry or become seriously unwell. But the effect of losing your income on your family is just one of many things you’ll need to think about. Others include:

Rent or housing payments
Medical or dental insurance
Access to company equipment or facilities
Community reputation
Workplace records

Additionally, finding a replacement job can be hard. In competitive technical fields, three months of unemployment is currently considered normal. In less competitive, niche industries, unemployment can last a lot longer. Maybe your job has given you such a bad taste in your mouth that you want to switch industries entirely. Now you’re jumping into the unknown. With enough effort, you can succeed, but it likely won’t be easy.

Step 4: Lawyer Up

If your workplace was so terrible that you could scarcely stop yourself from dumping kerosene on your boss’s desk, there’s a decent chance that something in your workplace wasn’t entirely legal. While it isn’t illegal for a manager to act like an ass, or even to come into work drunk, it is illegal to sexually harass, discriminate, or perpetrate minor acts of violence like throwing things at employees.

Failure to accommodate a disability, animal cruelty, workers’ rights violations, and quid pro quo (something for something) harassment can all take subtle and insidious forms that you might not even see as unlawful without knowing a lawyer. Call one! Also, when relevant, make sure to call the police or another government authority as soon as you notice something wrong. Keep careful records, take screenshots, and keep all of your emails on a private computer. If your boss fires you for reporting his or her illegal behavior in good faith, this is called retaliation, and you automatically have a legal case.

Suing your boss might not seem like a great long-term strategy, but most justifiable lawsuits don’t harm your career. If you settle with your employer, both parties will likely sign a non-disclosure agreement, meaning that they can’t go blabbing to other companies about how much of a terrible employee you were.

There is risk, of course, in filing a lawsuit, but the world needs more people who stand up for what’s right. If you’re in the position to take this risk, and you can stop someone from continuing their immoral and unlawful workplace behavior, go for it, Your settlement or winnings can go a long way toward improving your family’s situation as you hunt for better work.

Step 5: Quit

Unfortunately, no one can tell you how to break the news of your departure. Your manner of quitting is totally up to you.

Whether you simply walk out or tearfully hug your friends and colleagues (except that dickhead Gabe in sales) all depends on the previous steps. Just realize that brevity is often best. Under the pressure of nerves, carefully conceived, righteous speeches can easily dissolve into unintelligible nonsense. Similarly, lingering past your due date can give others an odd sense that you weren’t really much to be missed.

Also up to you is whether you want to give your two weeks, more, or far less. Your boss may give you the stink face for quitting without notice, but if you aren’t worried about having him or her as a reference, don’t commit to more pain than you need to.

Step 6: Fix Your Life

If you just escaped a horrible workplace that violated your sense of autonomy, safety, or privacy, getting out is just the first step. Now you need to figure out how not to wind up in the same situation again. The world is packed with exploitative fatcats, and good bosses are few and far between.

A recent, dismal study found that 85% of worldwide workers feel disengaged at work, and most outright hated their jobs. It’s rough out there, and you’re up against it if you don’t work hard to improve your lot. Of course, getting to where you want to be might take more suffering and discontent, so you’ll have to do a careful cost-benefit analysis of your life.

Is it worth four or more years of hard work and debt to get another degree? Is the job on the other end worth it, or is it just another human hampster wheel? Do you want to exit the matrix entirely and become a youtuber? Are you the type to start your own business, or will you lose faith and dip out? Are you trying to chase a passion, or do you just want to pay the bills?

Only you can answer these questions, but the sooner you can, the better.

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